A Very Dirty Potter Christmas
A Very Dirty Potter Christmas is a 2013 Christmas special in the series of audiobooks created by Dirty Potter. Summary Harry is awakened by Ron throwing his feces at him. As Harry get up he found that Draco had shat on his bed. Ron and Harry begin to have sex until Harry shits out Christmas decorations. Hermione arrives and "helps" decorate. Harry once again becomes ill and vomits everywhere. Snape enters the room and rapes them all. They all had a great Christmas. Transcript Jim Dale - Warning: this audiobook contains offensive childhood-destroying sex, immature poo-poo jokes and gay stuff, and it's dirty too. So take a handkerchief and get ready to wank 'til you CUMMMM!!! A Very Dirty Potter Christmas, read by the wonderful and very sexy Jim Dale...(yeah). On Christmas morning, Harry was woken by Ron throwing his shit at him. Ron - "Oi, presents!!" Harry - "Huh?" Jim Dale - He looked around to find a massive, smelly poop lying over the end of his bed. There was a note pinned to it and it said "Merry Christmas, cunt. Love, Malfoy's butthole". He would've liked to empty the contents of his whole arse on Malfoy's face during the next week. Making a mental note, he put on his glasses and looked around. The tiny window was almost completely obscured with snow and feces. In front of it, Ron was sitting bolt upright in bed, naked, except for a Father Christmas hat. He was frightfully happy, beating so fast it hurt, singing at the top of his voice, the Christmas carol (wanking noises). Ron ejaculated Christmas trees and thick streamers of holly and mistletoe (cumming noises). Harry - "What's that?" Jim Dale - asked Harry, staring at his bulging trousers. Ron - "It's your friend" Jim Dale - said Ron, punching his penis into a more comfortable shape. Harry - "Nice," Jim Dale - said Harry at once, Harry - "classy! you should definitely have spectacular buttsex with me, then." Ron - "Alright, we'll do it" Jim Dale - replied Ron. Harry found himself kissing Ron, passionately. Harry - "I love you" Jim Dale - said Harry. Ron - "Ho, ho, ho and suck my sack, you fucking huge faggot, Harry Potter" Jim Dale - said Ron, and he seized the nearest dragon dildo, which was thick and shot flaming anus-death out of the end. "Bend over the bed, slut" he told Harry, in a low voice "OK," sighed Harry, as though resigning to the worst, "I'm ready, let's go". "(Hawking noises) Ptooey!" said Ron, spilling out of his mouth onto the dick instrument, as well as Harry's face and his bottom. Ron began punishing Harry's fucking anus with a dragon vibrator without mercy. Harry felt it vibrating inside him. It sounded like: (vibrating noises, then becoming distorted). He continued for several hours, until they set fire to their own pants. Harry was quite sure his butt was going to explode with pleasure. Harry spread his rathole as hard as he could go and pooped out Christmas decorations. "I've done it!!" said Ron, fucking impressed. Indeed, he looked as though he was quite enjoying himself, until the portrait hole opened and Hermione came in. She stared...and immediately lifted her little skirt and blouse, pulled her Christmas tree panties to the side and began to squirt onto the table and floor. Harry and Ron drank it straight then swapped the cum back and forth with their mouths, then back to her mouth. She took a needle and she injected the rest of her squirt back into her arm. "Wow, look at that!" said Ron. They were standing under the mistletoe. "Now, we'll have to make out more" said Harry, relieved. Harry and Ron were locked in a close embrace and kissing fiercely as though glued together. But then, Harry's stomach gave a funny jolt. He felt a sick swooping in his belly. "I shouldn't have drank so much butt-nog" he thought to himself as he came in his trousers (fierce cumming noises). Harry felt sick. His heart was hammering very fast. He took deep breaths, willing himself not to vomit all over Ron. Sweating slightly while kissing with Ron, he began to projectile vomit into the back of Ron's throat loudly, which sounded like: (vomiting noises). Harry puked straight down into Ron's stomach, the vomit forcing its way through his body and out of his enormous arse and hitting Hermione in her face with a loud "SCHPLNKNT". As she wiped her face with her sleeve as she spoke, "Noooo, not spew! I don't much fancy vomit". "Puke instead?" suggested Ron. "Ha ha ha(!)" said Hermione, sarcastically. Instead, Hermione came on Harry and Ron, who were twerking for the fun of it, shaking their buttocks, grinding on each other's dicks like a couple of fags. Hermione joined in. And then Snape came in, farting down the corridor, and he fucked the shit out of them, like this: (groaning and cumming noises) Oh yeah, goo goo goo, (more cumming noises) o(poik)oo(poik)hh(poik)ye(poik)es, (even more cumming noises). It had been Harry's best Christmas Day ever. The End. A very merry Christmas to you. Love from Dirty Potter and, of course, Jim Dale. P.S, dicks, dicks, dicks, dick, dicks, dick, dicks. Neither this audiobook or any portion of it may be injected as heroin or used for any purpose without prior sucking on Drew Pickles' 300 mile long cock like this: blurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblurblur and then cum like soisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoisoi, bag, that was swell! For those too lazy to read Category:Audiobooks Category:Specials Category:Dirty Potter